i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
