dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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