careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
