I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
well you can't waste a boner
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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