Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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