chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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