I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
