i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
