I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
well you can't waste a boner
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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