just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
