Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
