i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
