Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
