Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Duck Duck Cougar?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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