are you so shy because you have an std?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
