Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
