your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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