Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
