During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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