Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
