Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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