whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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