He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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