I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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