It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
even my farts smell like vagina
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
