I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
