if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
