I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
