I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
