This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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