i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
