theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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