all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
