i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
