I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
