week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
