if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
