And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My liver just had a heart attack.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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