it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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