Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
