Will you blow on my dice?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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