drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
