I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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