Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
third nipple confirmed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
