marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
