i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
