he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
