Screwed.edu
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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