Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
