if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
