Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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