GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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