Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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