They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
