that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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